Saturday, August 9, 2014

Finding Balance With the Help of a Little Dog!

As we approach Alexis' 31 birthday - 3 1/2 years after her death  I realize that somehow we have found balance.  While the ache of our loss never leaves, by creating a safe environment where we can talk freely about Lex telling 'her' stories and including her in ours has helped.  Losing Lex was our 'rock bottom' nothing that happens in the future will ever  be as devastating,  aging parents, people who disappoint you,  nothing will ever compare.  However, 'being happy' has been sneaking up on me, I am surprised to find joy in moments of distraction.  Some of these 'moments' are provided by our dog Turtle.   Each morning after she is fed she goes outside and hops onto our garden swing where she naps.  Watching her lying on that swing so content and peaceful warms my heart, the simplicity of this act has helped me understand what is important now.  Turtle has been integral to our coping with the loss of Lex.  How surprising that this tiny animal is so important to my family.  Turtles needs force us to function outside our grieving.  Watching her doze on the swing calms me, taking her to the park to play catch distracts me and being the recipient of her licks makes me smile.  Caring for her is a commitment but the rewards far out-weigh the work involved.   Turtle is helping us find balance by teaching us to appreciate simplicity in life.  Sometimes it's the smallest things that give the greatest joy.  My only regret is that Lex never met Turtle, how she would have loved her.