Welcome to my personal Light The Night fundraising page!
I am participating in the Light the Night Walk in memory of my courageous and beautiful daughter Alexis Wronzberg who passed away December 29, 2010 from Leukemia. This is our 3rd year participating in Light the Night a cause that Lex supported. Now I am walking for her and because of her. Please join me in this moving and important event, walk with me in memory of my daughter Alexis, walk with me to raise money to wipe out this horrible disease that has robbed so many.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Sponsor or join our team.http://www.lightthenight.ca/
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada’s (LLSC) Light The Night Walk is the nation’s night to pay tribute and bring hope to all those affected by blood cancer. This fall, I will be joining thousands of people walking in twilight carrying illuminated balloons…
To benefit all 90,000 people affected by blood cancers in Canada.
All those that will be diagnosed every 34 minutes,
And those, who every 72 minutes, will die.
I will be walking for them, with them, and to benefit them.
You can be part of the cure by kindly donating to my fundraising efforts.
Thank you for supporting me and the thousands of Canadians living with a blood cancer.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Princess Alexis and her Magical Smile
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Alexis who twirled around spreading happiness and light where ever she went. The princess had a very special magic trick, if someone was sad all she had to do was smile and they felt better. Everyone always wanted her to smile so they would feel better too. Princess Alexis was very beautiful and dressed in beautiful princess clothes. But, it was her magical smile that everyone noticed, when she smiled it was as if she had sparkle powder on her skin because she glowed. The princess was so happy that she even smiled in her sleep. She loved everything and everyone and especially animals, her favorites were turtles and monkeys who made her so happy that she danced and twirled in her beautiful princess dresses whenever she saw them. Princess Alexis travelled to far away lands and everyone she met in all the countries she visited loved her. The princess's life was full of sparkles and rainbows, colourful stones, chocolate, monkeys and turtles and she was happy. One day the princess met a handsome prince, who was charmed by her. He felt happy when he was with her and together they spread laughter and joy wherever they went. The princess felt safe and protected when she was with him and that made her even happier so she smiled even more! Oh, how happy they were, they're world was perfect. But, just like in real life things change and so it happened to Princess Alexis. One day, 'evil' invaded her world, it slithered in on the ground, slimy and black. At first it came in so quietly that the princess didn't notice soon though her world started to grow dark and although she tried to keep smiling it became hard. She tried her best to fight against this evil she went to the best wizards in the world searching for a powerful magic to destroy it. The Prince held her tight and told her that the evil would soon go away and then they could dance in the sunlight again but, he was wrong and the evil kept growing stronger and stronger. The princess began to see that in order to escape the horrible evil she would have to leave her world and so one day she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and gently floated to a far away place where the evil could no longer reach her. Even though Princess Alexis was now safe everyone who knew her was sad because they could no longer feel the warmth of her beautiful smile. The handsome prince was lost without his princess but, he knew that she was spreading happiness and light and smiling her magical smile in a new land full of sparkles and rainbows, colourful stones, chocolate, turtles and monkeys forever free from the horrible slimy evil.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
A Poem - by Alexis written in June 2010, recently discovered on her computer
My life
Beginning at first diagnosis
Being in remission
What I did during remission (how I celebrated, my travels, etc.)
Reconnecting with Hayley through facebook of all things
Meeting mo in Israel of all places, what he said to me there and here
Relapsing
Chemo
Chemo didn't work, and the last and final "capeezi" method, that finally got me where I needed to be for transplant
Days leading up to transplant
Transplant
Side effects
Recovering
Being lazy
Support
How things happen
The call from Vidal Sassoon for a job in November...Strange
Funny thing is, no regrets
It's changed me...I now want to do something good with my life just unsure what yet, I don't want to sit in an office 9-5, I need to LIVE!
Clothing line idea?
Amongst other items to help patients who are undergoing treatments or even just items to make patients feel more comfortable in the hospital
Forgetting
"Is looking forward to the memories of right now"
Monday, May 30, 2011
A Love Letter to my Daughter/as read at the cemetary for her unveiling
Darling Alexis,
The 3 months that we lived in Israel was a wonderful gift. A honeymoon. I know you loved being there, loved our apartment, loved the food and loved everyone you met, you said 'you felt at home and safe there', we both did. We marvelled that the best possible treatment available to you in the entire world was in Israel. Your friends and family members visited you and you never ever felt alone or isolated, in fact the only thing you really missed was Dodger, your dog.
You were so hopeful that the doctors in Tel Aviv would heal you and, I believe the one person that would be most surprised that you did not survive, would be YOU. I get great comfort from this and I am also grateful that instead of watching you die -for 3 months I watched you live.
Lately I've been feeling your presence. I miss you, we all do. I wonder all the time if you are happy??? I wonder what you think of us. Are we doing alright? I hope you're not upset that we got a puppy, I know you wanted one and I always said no, but, Turtle has become a very important member of our family, she's helping us and I know you would understand.
Dani has finished school now and is beginning her job search, she is incredible, a rock and wise beyond her years. I know she misses you very much, we could have really used your input when we were shopping for interview clothes!
Dad and I are so proud of her!
Alexis, there are so many things I want to say to you. I realize now, how much you pushed us to try new things, to experiment! I admired you for your energy, your efforts to squeeze as much as you could out of every experience. You had an uncanny ability to always know what movies to see, what restaurants to go to, what outfits looked best, and so much more... and you were always right! I called you 'my go to girl'!
You had an insatiable appetite for life, went everywhere and knew everyone. You were very special, so special that you inspired an entire community to fight for you, how often does that happen? Yet, you were also just a girl, and trust me when I say there were many times when I was annoyed with you. But, all that was part of your lore, your charm and when you smiled you glowed and we said you were lit from within.
Your friends miss you, you were their anchor, you understood how important it was that their friendships stay strong, especially now, they need each other more than ever. They love you. You taught them how to be a true friend and they have learned well. You would be so proud, they are wonderful!
You were known for your warmth, positive attitude and of course your beautiful smile! I choose to believe that you are ok, that you are in a place where you are healthy and strong, where there is no more pain and you are not afraid and I know you have made many new friends.
Lex, you loved your family, you loved your friends and you loved Mo... you loved large. You worried about us, in fact the only worry you ever expressed was 'how we would all be, without you'.... Well, you can stop worrying, we're going to be fine. I promised you 'we would live our lives well' and we will.
Alexis, you have left a huge hole in our world - a void that is impossible to fill. Even though you were only here for a short time the impact you made on all of us will last several lifetimes, the lessons you taught us still resonate, to smile through adversity, to never give up, to be positive, to live life to the fullest. And I promise you we all will try to live our lives with your lessons in mind, to not waste a second. This, is your legacy!
We can no longer tell you to dress warm, or drive safe, we can no longer hug you but, we can still tell you that we love you and, we will love you forever! Thank you for sharing your life with us for a little while, you were an amazing daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend!
We will never ever forget you.
Lyla Tov Motek, Chula Mot Paz
(good-night, sweetie, golden dreams)
All our love,
Mom, Dad and Danielle.
The 3 months that we lived in Israel was a wonderful gift. A honeymoon. I know you loved being there, loved our apartment, loved the food and loved everyone you met, you said 'you felt at home and safe there', we both did. We marvelled that the best possible treatment available to you in the entire world was in Israel. Your friends and family members visited you and you never ever felt alone or isolated, in fact the only thing you really missed was Dodger, your dog.
You were so hopeful that the doctors in Tel Aviv would heal you and, I believe the one person that would be most surprised that you did not survive, would be YOU. I get great comfort from this and I am also grateful that instead of watching you die -for 3 months I watched you live.
Lately I've been feeling your presence. I miss you, we all do. I wonder all the time if you are happy??? I wonder what you think of us. Are we doing alright? I hope you're not upset that we got a puppy, I know you wanted one and I always said no, but, Turtle has become a very important member of our family, she's helping us and I know you would understand.
Dani has finished school now and is beginning her job search, she is incredible, a rock and wise beyond her years. I know she misses you very much, we could have really used your input when we were shopping for interview clothes!
Dad and I are so proud of her!
Alexis, there are so many things I want to say to you. I realize now, how much you pushed us to try new things, to experiment! I admired you for your energy, your efforts to squeeze as much as you could out of every experience. You had an uncanny ability to always know what movies to see, what restaurants to go to, what outfits looked best, and so much more... and you were always right! I called you 'my go to girl'!
You had an insatiable appetite for life, went everywhere and knew everyone. You were very special, so special that you inspired an entire community to fight for you, how often does that happen? Yet, you were also just a girl, and trust me when I say there were many times when I was annoyed with you. But, all that was part of your lore, your charm and when you smiled you glowed and we said you were lit from within.
Your friends miss you, you were their anchor, you understood how important it was that their friendships stay strong, especially now, they need each other more than ever. They love you. You taught them how to be a true friend and they have learned well. You would be so proud, they are wonderful!
You were known for your warmth, positive attitude and of course your beautiful smile! I choose to believe that you are ok, that you are in a place where you are healthy and strong, where there is no more pain and you are not afraid and I know you have made many new friends.
Lex, you loved your family, you loved your friends and you loved Mo... you loved large. You worried about us, in fact the only worry you ever expressed was 'how we would all be, without you'.... Well, you can stop worrying, we're going to be fine. I promised you 'we would live our lives well' and we will.
Alexis, you have left a huge hole in our world - a void that is impossible to fill. Even though you were only here for a short time the impact you made on all of us will last several lifetimes, the lessons you taught us still resonate, to smile through adversity, to never give up, to be positive, to live life to the fullest. And I promise you we all will try to live our lives with your lessons in mind, to not waste a second. This, is your legacy!
We can no longer tell you to dress warm, or drive safe, we can no longer hug you but, we can still tell you that we love you and, we will love you forever! Thank you for sharing your life with us for a little while, you were an amazing daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin and friend!
We will never ever forget you.
Lyla Tov Motek, Chula Mot Paz
(good-night, sweetie, golden dreams)
All our love,
Mom, Dad and Danielle.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Mother's Day et al.
I didn't write about Mother's Day yet because I wanted the dust to settle a little before I tackled it, obviously it's a big subject.
We began attending a group for parents who have lost a child, it was suggested to us not because we particularly need it, but because we may find comfort in the company of others who feel as we do. Sitting in a room with these poor parents is not comforting to me. Instead I find that after a week where I am busy, relatively upbeat, coping as best I can, I go to this group and all we do is cry over the child we have lost. It's supposed to be a safe place where we can say how we feel, but instead, the heavy sadness in the room weighs me down. I leave these sessions sadder, more depressed than I felt all week. Most of the participants say that they feel alone and the group for them is about companionship and understanding. I don't feel alone, my family and friends are giving me ample opportunity to talk, to grieve. What I have learned is that in order to move forward we must let Lex go. This is so heartbreaking for me but it is also necessary. It doesn't mean I stop loving her or carrying her in my heart, what it means is that we recognize that our world is different now, will never, ever be the same again so, we must adapt to the changes instead of trying to hang on to the way it used to be, that is what Dani, Rick and I are attempting to do. Which brings me to Mother's Day our national Hallmark Holiday, when Dani asked me how I wanted to spend Mothers Day I said "as simply as possible" we decided to go to a movie and out for coffee and it was lovely, I love spending time with her, no gifts, no brunches, no fuss, no muss. I still visited my mom and mother-in-law and of course I visited Lex, but aside from a few memory flashes and a few tears the day was anti-climatic and nice. I hope by creating new rituals or making small changes in the old ones we will continue to move forward. Lex would not want us to wallow.
We began attending a group for parents who have lost a child, it was suggested to us not because we particularly need it, but because we may find comfort in the company of others who feel as we do. Sitting in a room with these poor parents is not comforting to me. Instead I find that after a week where I am busy, relatively upbeat, coping as best I can, I go to this group and all we do is cry over the child we have lost. It's supposed to be a safe place where we can say how we feel, but instead, the heavy sadness in the room weighs me down. I leave these sessions sadder, more depressed than I felt all week. Most of the participants say that they feel alone and the group for them is about companionship and understanding. I don't feel alone, my family and friends are giving me ample opportunity to talk, to grieve. What I have learned is that in order to move forward we must let Lex go. This is so heartbreaking for me but it is also necessary. It doesn't mean I stop loving her or carrying her in my heart, what it means is that we recognize that our world is different now, will never, ever be the same again so, we must adapt to the changes instead of trying to hang on to the way it used to be, that is what Dani, Rick and I are attempting to do. Which brings me to Mother's Day our national Hallmark Holiday, when Dani asked me how I wanted to spend Mothers Day I said "as simply as possible" we decided to go to a movie and out for coffee and it was lovely, I love spending time with her, no gifts, no brunches, no fuss, no muss. I still visited my mom and mother-in-law and of course I visited Lex, but aside from a few memory flashes and a few tears the day was anti-climatic and nice. I hope by creating new rituals or making small changes in the old ones we will continue to move forward. Lex would not want us to wallow.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A Fairy Tale?
Once upon a time there was a young couple. They fell in love got married, bought a house in the suburbs, had 2 children and a dog. For the next 21 years they lived just like everyone else. The young couple worked hard to provide their children with what they thought was important, nice clothes and toys, dance and gym classes, and family vacations. They were a happy family. As their children got older their needs changed, now they were going to university, but the parents believed that if they continued to work hard, their children just like everyone else's would be happy and successful. Then one day everything changed, their oldest daughter got Cancer. Instead of working hard to provide their children with stuff, they were working hard to provide their children with emotional support. Instead of paying for education, now they were paying for the drugs required to keep their daughter alive. Instead of having quality time from outings and family vacations now they were attempting to have quality time in a hospital room. Instead of discussing their daughters future with her educators now they were discussing her survival with her doctors. There were bad days and good days. The family celebrated not just good grades or getting a new job but positive outcomes from biopsy's and staying in remission. A subtle shift started to occur, the hardworking parents began to see that what was really important was being together, watching a movie, sharing a pizza and enjoying each others company. Things went along in this way for several years and then one day everything changed again, the cancer had returned. Medical therapy was given but, didn't work. Travel to another country always a dream of the daughters became a reality, not for pleasure but for experimental treatment to try to save her life. However, despite the mightiest efforts of the parents, doctors and community the daughter was not to be saved. So, instead of planning showers and weddings like everyone else, the parents planned a funeral.
Today, lessons learned are becoming clear. We have experienced great sorrow, met incredible people and learned that the true power of love is the ability to give without wanting or needing to receive. We have learned that we are not like everyone else, we can't be and no longer wish to be, we are unique. This desperately sad experience changed all of us, it woke us up to the fragility of life. The parents are still hard working, still want their daughter to be happy and successful but, now they count their riches not in material gains and 'stuff' but in the relationships they have garnered from the beautiful people who have come into their lives offering love, comfort and friendship.
Ever resilient, always searching for either a reason for the loss of my daughter or a lesson, I believe I have found one, although it is a hard way to learn such a lesson.
Today, lessons learned are becoming clear. We have experienced great sorrow, met incredible people and learned that the true power of love is the ability to give without wanting or needing to receive. We have learned that we are not like everyone else, we can't be and no longer wish to be, we are unique. This desperately sad experience changed all of us, it woke us up to the fragility of life. The parents are still hard working, still want their daughter to be happy and successful but, now they count their riches not in material gains and 'stuff' but in the relationships they have garnered from the beautiful people who have come into their lives offering love, comfort and friendship.
Ever resilient, always searching for either a reason for the loss of my daughter or a lesson, I believe I have found one, although it is a hard way to learn such a lesson.
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Healing Powers of a Puppy Named Turtle!
Something almost magical is happening, prancing, jumping, happy puppy vibes have invaded my home. We have all been affected, this tiny little dog seems to understand when we simply want to sit and cuddle and when we want to play. 'Turtle' offers us unconditional love in the way only a puppy could, with licks and a constantly wagging tail, she is helping us break through the emotional fog and given us a new focus. We are all involved, Dani busy training her, Rick enjoying her mischievousness, smiling at her cuteness and me snuggling with her. The surprising healing powers of a puppy. We all talk about her constantly, ad nauseum I'm sure, but I don't care she makes me happy. I love this little dog and she loves us, Turtle brings a breath of fresh air into my home, something brand new, a healthy diversion, we all feel it and it feels good. This puppy has nothing to do with the past other than her name which was Lex's nickname. Turtle, represents the present and the future, and gives me hope that if something as simple as buying a puppy could improve our mood, then with time, we are all going to be okay.
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