Friday, August 17, 2012

Just Another Ordinary Day

We are approaching Alexis's 29th birthday, her 2nd birthday without us. Once again we have asked our friends and close family to be with us on this day. 22 friends, aunts, uncles and cousins will meet us at a restaurant favoured by Lex, I never want to be alone on her birthday. I still count the days and months without her, 1 1/2 years now, her bedroom sits with most of her stuff untouched. We have only now begun the process of giving away certain items, a headboard an end table, the bed but the room still has her personality, eventually I will clear it out...I suppose, I really feel no urgency to do so. This summer has been a good one, peaceful and without stress and I am very grateful for this. I spend a lot of time with Dani and its good. The simplicity of our lives is in direct contrast to what was before and it is bittersweet for me. Sitting in my garden reading a book or going out with friends are simple pleasures that I appreciate, but even though we are living 'normally' I greatly and perhaps selfishly miss you Lex. It does seem that a lot of the decisions we make are with Alexis in mind, to go on a special trip as we did in June, to visit a Medium, yes, I said Medium, which we did this week, to get a new tattoo yes, I said tattoo which her sister wants, to go to Mount Tremblant. Even though she is no longer with us what we do seems to be dictated by her. This week we went back to the medium for a second reading, I have to say that if I had any doubts before about an afterlife they were obliterated by this visit. Sandy the medium told us how excited Lex was about her dear friends pregnancy, she told us the sex of the baby, knew her due date and mentioned her 4 year old son. Then she talked about our recent trip to the UK, she said that there were not 3 of us on that trip but 4. She mentioned Lex's birthday, talked about our black and white dog who had passed and was now with Lex, brought up our tan coloured dog saying that Lex plays with her and finally asked us if we had a pet Turtle.......no, but we do have a dog named TURTLE!!! That reading was an hour long and full of imformation that soothed us, startled us and made us cry. After the reading we visited Lex at the cemetary and then in the late afternoon Dani and I went downtown to a Tattoo parlor for a consult. Just another ordinary day in my household. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would spend a day like this I probably would have laughed, incredulous but, here I am not even phased by it. How my life has changed in both subtle and obvious ways amazes me and its all because of Lex, here or not, her influence over us is both profound and wondrous.