Thursday, December 28, 2017

ALEXIS’ GIFT

Seven years, 84 months, 2555 days no matter how you add it up a lot of time has passed since Lex died. But no matter how much time the grieving feels the same as the day she died, Dec. 29, 2010. Lex hasn’t changed a bit, still 27, still beautiful, still strong. I however, have done a complete 180, I have reinvented myself as a strong, resilient woman. If you didn’t know my history, if I didn’t tell you my story you would never know the emptiness I feel when I think about her, the debilitating, crushing sadness that sits on my shoulders pushing me down. I may never have become the person I am today if I hadn’t made a promise to Lex in those final moments of her life. I told her, ‘I promise you, I will live my life well’ this promise became Alexis’s gift to me, because it gave me a purpose and direction it encouraged me to value my life and try to live with resolve something Lex never had a chance to do. My metamorphosis has been slow and sometimes painful, Alexis’ journey was cut short, mine still goes on and so by putting one foot in front of the other Lex’s gift has helped me to survive her death. Without her gift I may never have been motivated to get out of bed. Her gift has helped me to appreciate the beauty of my life and to share in her ’Joyeux de vivre’. I miss her every second of every hour of every day and my heart aches with the sadness of my loss but I feel comfort in knowing that a simple promise I made to Lex became a gift that encourages all of us to ‘live our lives well’.

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