My Last Blog

Today is a very sad day. Lex lost her battle with Leukemia and passed away on Wed Dec. 29 at 5:15am Israel time. She died from complications from Leukemia not the Leukemia itself as she was still in solid remission, her liver just could not handle the 6 1/2 years of poisonous drugs she needed to take to survive this horrid, relentless disease, and so, it stopped working. Thankfully she fell into a deep sleep without knowing what was happening and simply never woke-up. Rick, Danielle, Jonathan and I held a bedside vigil for 36 hours only leaving for a hour to go home to shower and change our clothes she was never alone. She was not in any pain and for the most part appeared relaxed, calm, peaceful. Prof Slavin said he had never seen a liver deteriorate so quickly there was no time to do anything and actually in the end there was nothing that could have been done, of all the organs in the body the liver is the most difficult to repair, sometimes there can be a miracle and the liver can begin to regenerate but this was not the case for Lex. The last 2 weeks of her life were not easy, many of you asked why I hadn't posted a blog for a while, well, now you know the reason, I had nothing to post, Lex was in the hospital receiving treatment for several infections both viral and bacterial in the hopes that they could get them under control. Then her liver became enlarged and so the treatment switched to what was perceived the biggest threat to her life and all medications were removed to try to give her liver a rest.

At the moment we are all so sad and I wonder how can you recover from losing a child, a sister, a grand daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend....or even, do you ever recover? Even though Lex was not conscious I talked with her and made a promise that we would all live our lives, well, somehow. But she leaves a massive hole and I really don't know how we will be able to go on without her.

She was loved by so many, truely, I have never known anyone who garnered so much love. Lex had this capacity to draw people to her and everyone who met her instantly became her friend. But some of her friends are truely special Jen, Tal and their baby Seth, Arielle, Seth, Hayley, Lisa, Elise and of course Mo who spent 6 weeks living with us, cooking for us and loving Lex in his very special way. You all flew in at great expense to be with Lex and I, and it was appreciated and wonderful. Donna having you in Tel Aviv with us was like a little bit of home and Karen you're support during this time was unwavering, your couldn't do enough for her and Lex adored you. I am so glad that all of you were able to spend time with Lex, I hoped that your visits would not be the last time you would ever see her, but I can't impress on you enough how much she loved you and how special you made her feel.

I asked Lex last week if she was still glad that we came to Israel and she answered me that she had no regrets, not one. She was only homesick for her dog Dodger. She thought of this experience as an adventure and even though she spent 7 weeks in hospital and the rest as an outpatient she loved living in Tel Aviv in our apartment, shopping for groceries, exploring local restaruants and making new friends and I loved having this time with her too. Where Toronto only offered her death, Israel offered her life and so these last 3 months were filled with smiles, laughter and hope always hope. Because it has ended this way doesn't erase the fact that the last 3 months of Alexis's life were pretty incredible and she knew it and I knew it too.

Rick, Dani and Jonathan how you all managed to fly in on this particular week amazes me, it is truely besheret that you are here. And I am so grateful that both Lex and I were never alone, Lex was surrounded by the love of her family when she passed and I know she knew we were all there. Jonathan you unselfishly stayed by our sides throughout, holding our hands bringing us tea offering support never intrusive just gentle and thoughtful.

So now with heavy hearts we have begun the process of leaving Israel, packing up our home, packing up Lex's belongings will be among the most difficult things I have ever done, her personality resonates and she is everywhere, tears are falling on my keyboard as I type this how can there be so many tears


****For those of you reading my blogs, I have decided to continue writing, so this in the end is not my last blog. Instead I see it as my last blog in Israel. My blog will continue to be written after I return home to Toronto.****