Silence

Noise everywhere, T.V.'s on, phones are ringing, furnace is humming, people are talking, the dog is barking and all I hear is the silence. I feel sad today and yet I enjoyed breakfast with my wonderful friend Sandy and later coffee with Janice and Donna who both had me laughing with their stories, I worked on a painting cooked dinner and went to Shul. It really was a good day, but all I can feel is this.....silence. Behind all the noise and activity there is a voice that is missing, a voice that would join in the discussion about planning dinner or needing the car, a voice that would be laughing at something her friends said or would be organizing everyone's weekend. It is this voice that's missing that is now silent, it is this voice that I am listening for, that I can no longer hear, it is this voice that I miss. Sometimes during a conversation I find myself drifting, a random memory will unexpectedly creep up on me, they completely distract me, everyone will be talking and I can't hear them I'm lost in thought and silent listening for her voice trying to hear her.